Last month, while clearing out Mum’s flat I came across this tatty old thing, the kitchen sink (model 1.024) from my younger sister’s old Caroline’s Home doll’s house.
You know the saying “everything but the kitchen sink”, that means “nearly everything one can reasonably imagine; many different things, often to the point of excess or redundancy”? Lots of people used to say that about my late Mum’s handbag. She kept a lot of things in it.
“Blimey! Rosalie, you have everything in there except the kitchen sink,” they’d laugh.
And my mum would rummage at the bottom of her handback and proudly produce this old thing.
“Actually,” she would counter, “I do have the kitchen sink in here.”
But it served a purpose other than just a comic retort. Behind the tiny cupboard doors, which over time broke and were repeatedly taped together with masking tape, Mum kept three ten pence pieces—the right amount of money to get her into most public toilets in an emergency.
That’s the kind of practicality that I admired about my mum.
Daily advice the UK government is definitely not giving during the 2020 UK lockdown
A few weeks ago, I started a blog called You must not go outside! to give out daily advice that the UK government definitely isn’t giving but probably should during the 2020 UK lockdown.
Artists impression of what a snail monkey might look like
It all began with a weird conversation one bedtime between my son Isaac (6) and me. Somehow—I can’t remember the route—the conversation settled on fantasising about a creature called a ‘snail monkey’.
Isaac then asked me to create a website for him to share the news with the world.
This post could equally be entitled, “Making the world a better place, one pedantic letter at a time.”
Last July I wrote the following letter to UK insurance company Admiral:
Saturday 30 July 2016
Dear Sir/Madam,
Incorrect rank for your TV advert admiral
I was watching ITV4 last week, catching up with footage of that day’s Tour de France action when an advert for Admiral car insurance came on. I was surprised when I saw the uniform of the woman portraying the character of the admiral.
I was not surprised by her gender: I am very much in favour of equal opportunities within the workplace, including the British armed forces. I was surprised simply by her uniform, and indeed by the rank depicted on her uniform.
Judging by the name of your company I can perhaps presume she was meant to be portraying an admiral (Nato code OF-9), it’s just that I cannot be entirely certain as she was wearing on her cuffs the insignia of a commander (Nato code OF-4).
An admiral wears a broad band with three narrower bands above; a commander wears simply three narrower bands. To illustrate this, I have corrected it very roughly using an image downloaded from your website, overleaf.
Commander vs Admiral
To anyone with a passing knowledge of British naval ranks this will appear entirely incongruous and I expect will somewhat undermine the trust that one might otherwise place in your company: if you cannot even get the admiral’s rank correct on a pretend costume for a television commercial then how might we be expected to trust you in the more important matter of covering our cars against fire, theft, accident and other such maladies?
I am simply curious why such a decision was made to portray your admiral character as a commander, five ranks beneath an admiral. And whether you have any plans to correct this faux pas.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely
Gareth J M Saunders
I posted the letter and then forgot about it.
About three weeks later, to my surprise, I received a reply from Admiral’s head of brand.
Letter from Admiral’s head of brand
Here’s what it said:
Dear Mr Saunders
Thank you for your letter regarding the Admiral’s uniform.
As you will have no doubt noticed the Admiral’s uniform is not an exact replica of an Admiral’s uniform, but was created to reflect the Admiral Brand Icon. That said, I do agree we made a mistake during the development and design on the jacket sleeve.
I’m also sorry to say that we produced all of our commercials for 2016 during one production shoot, so you will continue to see the current uniform until the end of the year.
However, I am pleased to tell you that we are in the planning stages of our next commercial, and I do intend to update the uniform to correct the number of stripes on the sleeve.
It’s good to get feedback from our customers, as this helps us evolve our campaigns for the future.
Yours sincerely,
Paula Lyons
Head of Brand
Fast forward eleven months and here is their new advert, which I first watched on ITV4 last week, while catching up with footage of that day’s Tour de France action.
And look! The Admiral admiral is now an admiral!
The Admiral admiral now has the correct sleeve lace of a broad band and three narrower bands
They have even included the executive curl (or Elliot’s Eye) for authenticity.
You are welcome!
Obviously, I’m going to write to Admiral to thank them. It would be rude not to.
