Day 4: A song that makes you sad #30dsc

30 day song challenge day 4: A song that makes you sad

Peter Gabriel—Father, Son

(I wanted to embed the official video but wasn’t able to; you can watch it on YouTube.)

I love this song but it always brings tears to my eyes when I listen to it.

It was written by Peter Gabriel about his father Ralph while on a weekend-long yoga trip. These are the lyrics:

Father, son
Locked as one
In this empty room
Spine against spine
Yours against mine
Till the warmth comes through

Remember the breakwaters down by the waves
I first found my courage
Knowing daddy could save
I could hold back the tide
With my dad by my side

Dogs, plows and bows
We move through each pose
Struggling in our seperate ways
Mantras and hymns
Unfolding limbs
Looking for release through the pain

And the yogi’s eyes are open
Looking up above
He too is dreaming of his daddy’s love
With his dad by his side
Got his dad by his side

Can you recall
How you took me to school
We couldn’t talk much at all
It’s been so many years
And now these tears
Guess I’m still a child

Out on the moors
We take a pause
See how far we have come
You’re moving quite slow
How far can we go
Father and son

With my dad by my side
With my dad by my side
Got my dad by my side
With me

What makes me sad is when I listen to this song is simply that I couldn’t enjoy a longer relationship with my own dad. He died when he was 52 years old, having had a triple sub-arachnoid brain haemorrhage at the age of 38.

I hope that I can have long and meaningful relationships with my three sons.

Happy 1½th Birthday Reuben and Joshua

Reuben and Joshua on Mummy and Daddy's bed
Reuben and Joshua on Mummy and Daddy’s bed

This morning at breakfast I realised that it’s exactly one week to Jane’s birthday; six months to Reuben and Joshua’s birthday; and six months minus one week to my birthday.

So I couldn’t let today go by without wishing Reuben and Joshua a very happy 1½th birthday! That’s right they are 18 months old today. I can hardly believe it: we’ve survived them and they’ve survived us.

A year and a half

The last year and a half has been such an emotional and physical roller coaster; an incredible learning curve for us all. Not just in terms of the practicalities of how to look after two babies (now toddlers) but also learning about ourselves under pressure, and Jane and I learning more about each other.

It’s not been easy. At times it’s been really, really difficult. But it has been an amazing journey, an amazing adventure. I wouldn’t give it up for anything. In the past I’ve worked in homeless hostels, in a prison and as a hospital chaplain. Those jobs now look easy in comparison!

Lovely

And we have the loveliest, sweetest boys who wave “bu-bye!” to their feet when they are zipped into their sleeping bags at night, or who tilt their heads to the side when coming in for a cuddle before racing off after the cat (pronounced ‘soos’) or to carry a mop around the house. (Cuddles from Reuben and Joshua I’ve realised are amongst the two greatest things on the planet.)

Jane had them weighed and measured last week. Joshua’s doing really well with a pretty bang-on average weight and height for his age. Reuben, however, is currently at the 95th percentile for weight and off the chart for height. It turns out he’s the average height of a 2½ year old!

I have no idea where he gets it from? It’s certainly not from his 6’4″ father or 6’0″ mother! 😉

So, Reuben and Joshua just know that Daddy loves you and is more proud of you than anything else I’ve ever experienced. I love you.