Pork and apple

Why is it always pork and apple, why is it never the other way round: apple and pork?

I mean, you get pork chops and apple sauce. You get pork and apple sausages.

But you never get apple pie and ice cream with bacon pieces in it. Or apple crumble and custard with ham slices.

Now, where’s the Masterchef 2012 application form? I think I need to redress the balance.

iPad 2 Thinner. Lighter. Faster. But does it have the right name?

iPad 2 Thinner. Lighter. Faster. FaceTime. Smart Covers. 10-hour battery.
iPad 2 Thinner. Lighter. Faster. But does it have the right name?

So, Apple CEO Steve Jobs launched the new iPad 2 today.

The difficult second tablet device.

Everyone is talking about it—apparently—the tech websites, the news websites, the tech news websites, everyone!

I think they missed a trick though in the name.


I think they should have called it the iPaad.

That way they could just keep adding ‘a’s (A for Apple) with each subsequent release until they has as many as Google have ‘o’s on their search results pages.


2019 would then undoubtedly usher in the new Apple iPaaaaaaaaaad.


The Lovely Jane™, however, thinks that they should have called it the iiPad (ii being the Roman numeral for 2).

With that naming convention, next year would bring the iiiPad. The ivPad would be launched in 2013. The vPad in 2014 and so on until in 2098 the new Apple dxxxviiiPad will explode onto the market.

It will be thinner than paper that is made from human hair. It will have 8 cameras, 12 TB of RAM, a 32-core 256-bit processor and every one will come with a complimentary copy of Angry Birds and a giant Zippo lighter app.

Whatever they called it though, I still won’t be buying one.

Safari 3.0.4 Beta for Windows upgrade?

Screenshot of Safari 3.0.4 Beta

Today I upgraded to the latest version of Safari for Windows, version 3.0.4 Beta.

Unfortunately, for some reason it’s completely unusable. I can’t read any of the menus, and the displayed web pages are corrupt.

I guess that’s what “beta” means, then.


I’ve uninstalled Safari, and then reinstalled 3.0.4 Beta but I still get the same corrupt screens.

I’m back to version 3.0.3 Beta and it’s all working fine, so I guess the problem really must be with the 3.0.4 update. Which is a shame.