One day I need to have ‘that’ chat with them

I imagine that in years to come the conversation may go a bit like this:

Me: Reuben, Joshua—come with me, I need to have an important chat with you.

Reuben and Joshua: Oh no! It’s ‘the sex chat’.

Me: No, it’s not ‘the sex chat’, I need to instruct you in the important and various methods of lacing up your shoes.

No one ever had that chat with me and I wish they did because it took me hours of experimenting to find the method that I like best, which is bottom-right to top-left and then lacing the remainder up with a nice, neat and even horizontal cross.

One day they will thank me.