Vuvuzelas in worship

Before last week I’d never heard of the word ‘vuvuzelas’ let alone heard one.

Seemingly, a vuvuzela is a traditional horn (if “becoming popular in South Africa in the 1990s” can be regarded as traditional) used at football matches. You may have heard one or two of them yourself if you’ve watched or listened to any of the World Cup matches on the electric television.


Seemingly they’re loud. Very loud.  Loud enough to frighten small children. And make you deaf.

The sound level of the instrument has been measured at 127 decibels (dB).  To put that in context: leaves rustling is about 13 dB, a quiet radio is about 40 dB, inside a bus is about 85 dB, thunder is around 110 dB, a jet taking off is around 130 dB, the threshold of pain is just over 130 dB!


But there have been complaints and calls for vuvuzelas to be banned from matches. Seemingly they’ve already been banned at Wimbledon. And at chess matches. I imagine.

In worship

The question is what would Jesus do?

I think that the British churches should stand alongside these persecuted vuvuzela players (vuvuzelaists?) and on the weekend of the World Cup Finals final use them in the act of worship on Sunday morning.

Can you imagine it?

Vicar: I now invite the youth group band forward who will lead us in worship this morning on their brightly-coloured vuvuzela horns. So, let’s stand and sing together hymn number 14 ‘All things bright and beautiful’.


Published by

Gareth Saunders

I’m Gareth J M Saunders, 52 years old, 6′ 4″, father of 3 boys (including twins). Enneagram type FOUR and introvert (INFP), I am a non-stipendiary priest in the Scottish Episcopal Church, I sing with the NYCGB alumni choir, play guitar, play mahjong, write, draw and laugh… Scrum master at Safeguard Global; latterly at Sky and Vision/Cegedim. Former web architect and agile project manager at the University of St Andrews and previously warden at Agnes Blackadder Hall.

4 thoughts on “Vuvuzelas in worship”

  1. LOL interesting article!
    I wrote a post yesterday about vuvuzelas on my blog. I think you should view it.
    What do you think about the motions to have them banned at the world cup?

  2. Presbyterians: there’ll be no bzzzzz here.
    Methodists: vuvuzelas have yet to be invented
    Baptists: will enter a time of spontaneous vuvuzela-blowing as the Spirit leads (as long as it’s between hymns 3 and 7 and stops prior to the informal talk)
    Quakers: will wear earplugs
    Roman Catholics: will feel gilty about having the most bling on their horn
    Piskies: sound of vuvuzela inaudible over proper organ music!

  3. Oh, and of course the Wee Frees will schism acrimoniously over whether it should be embraced as a replacement tuning fork for starting psalms in Bb.

  4. Vuvuzelas are so nosy that makes all the atmosphere on the public disappear. There is only a constant noise. No songs, no rummors, nothing. The public makes the sport but this is not the case if all you can hear is vuvuzelas.
    I watch the games with the sound off cause I found them really annoying.
    You can find on websapce a lot of articles from funny to sad, pro and contra vuvuzelas.
    I’m against. I even created a facebook event against them

    Keep quiet please! 🙂

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