This wasn’t on the birth plan!

I’m going to be honest here, this isn’t exactly how I’d anticipated our twins’ birthday. This morning we woke to:

1. A moose loose aboot the hoose!

Two chests of drawers - one has a mouse underneath!

A live mouse behind — and now underneath — our bedroom furniture, and two cats keenly sitting on guard.

But, of course, when we needed them to catch it … they ran off in search of a bowl of Whiskas! “Thanks humans, it’s your watch now!”

2. Nae water!

Bathroom sink - with no water supply!

… and no water supply. Thanks Scottish Water! That’s <irony>exactly what we need!</irony>

I rang Scottish Water’s emergency hotline — which is a recording, telling you to phone another number if you really need to report a problem with your water supply. The recorded voice told us that KY9 and KY10 (Anstruther, Pittenweem, Elie and Leven) have been taken out in the current water outage (reported at 07:20 this morning).

Imagine if the emergency services were like that!

Operator: Hello, which service do you require?

Caller: Fire Brigade please.

Operator: Please hold one moment while I put you through …

Recorded Voice: Thank you for calling the Fire and Rescue Service, your call is important to us. If you are calling about a fire at one of the following 150 locations throughout the British Isles then please hold, otherwise you will need to call 0800 999 9999 to request assistance.

Happy Birthday

Still, I have already sung happy birthday to Jane’s bump. Join in, if you like:

Happy Birthday to you (plural),
Happy Birthday to you (plural),
Happy Birthday dear currently-unnamed and unborn children,
We’ll see you very soon!

UPDATE: 08:46

Good: Water is back on, with just enough pressure to have a shower.
Bad: Twitter is now down.

Published by

Gareth Saunders

I’m Gareth J M Saunders, 52 years old, 6′ 4″, father of 3 boys (including twins). Enneagram type FOUR and introvert (INFP), I am a non-stipendiary priest in the Scottish Episcopal Church, I sing with the NYCGB alumni choir, play guitar, play mahjong, write, draw and laugh… Scrum master at Safeguard Global; latterly at Sky and Vision/Cegedim. Former web architect and agile project manager at the University of St Andrews and previously warden at Agnes Blackadder Hall.

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