In the UK there’s been a long-time medical TV series called Casualty; the YouTube video above shows you the opening titles from Series 15 (2000-2001).
The show is filmed in Bristol, but is set in the fictitious town of Holby — around which have sprung up two other series Holby City (set in the same hospital as Casualty, but on the wards rather than in A&E) and HolbyBlue, about the Holby police.
Anyway, with the non-UK readers catered for … I’ve often thought that it would be really cool to have an episode or two of Casualty each series directed by a guest director.
What would an episode directed by Quentin Tarantino look like? Or Ridley Scott? Or Tim Burton? Or how about Woody Allen?
Q. Who would your director of choice be and why?
I’d really like to see a Quentin Tarantino episode, I have to be honest. I’m just intrigued to know how he would handle it. I imagine there would be quite a lot of implied violence, mixed with the most intricate detail and trivial conversations. You can imagine, for example, an in-depth and heated conversation between two paramedics about the best glue to use for DIY tasks at home while attending a really gruesome train wreck.
The quiet episode
The other episode I’d really like to see is the quiet episode, the near-miss episode, the episode where everyone sits around in the A&E department not knowing what to do with themselves because it’s so quiet.
That’s one of the great things about Casualty: you always know that something awful is going to happen.
- A couple in a car driving down a road. Cuts to a lorry carrying a dangerous looking cargo. CRASH!
- A boy is playing with a frisbee near some pylons. “JIMMY!” He falls to the ground electrocuted.
- A lady is trying to do two many things at once in the kitchen, while watching the baby. Cuts to man ringing doorbell. Lady rushes to open door but the fridge follows her and falls on top of her blocking the door. Baby starts crying as something on daytime telly has frightened her.
Let’s see what you could have won!
I didn’t say I wrote Casualty! But you get the idea. Well … in my episode:
- A couple in a car driving down a road. Cuts to a lorry carrying a dangerous looking cargo. SWERVE! Phew! Near miss.
- A boy is playing with a frisbee near some pylons. “JIMMY!” Jimmy notices the pylons, picks up the frisbee and decides that this is too dangerous a place to play. Phew! Near miss.
- A lady is trying to do two many things at once in the kitchen, while watching the baby. Cuts to man ringing doorbell. Lady rushes to open door but he just wants to sell her insurance and she’s not interested. Baby laughs at an episode if Homes under the hammer. Phew! … Phew! again.
That’s my idea. If you’re a writer for popular BBC TV show Casualty, please feel free to use any of those ideas … on the conditions that:
- You call two of the characters Gareth and Jane.
- You help us choose two names for our twins.
I’ll waive my consultancy fee and EVERYTHING™.