We’re funny creatures human beings. So ready to blame ourselves when something goes wrong.
Sitting at your computer, you open Outlook to check your email and then quickly open Messenger. The computer freezes. “What did I do?! Was that me? I must have done something wrong.”
No — these things happen. It just happened while you were doing something else. No connection. But we like to think that there’s a connection.
Or you’re standing at a friend’s front door, you press the bell-push and a window falls out. “Was that me?! What did I do? I only pressed the door bell!”
Again, just a coincidence. The builders are in fitting new windows. But we’re so used to the whole cause-and-effect thing, and on the whole our whole lives revolve around ourselves that it’s no wonder we come to these unbelievable conclusions.
And that’s how I’ve found myself to be for the last few weeks. I came down with a cold in the few days after New Year. I battled on for a couple of weeks wishfully hoping that it would clear up of its own accord.
I saw the GP on 22 January who prescribed me a course of bright blue, missile-size antibiotics, and I began to improve a little. But not a lottle.
These last two weeks I’ve felt absolutely exhausted. I’ve had a sore throat, felt dizzy, wheezy and not quite right. Over the weekend I felt really emotional, very down, belittling myself for my condition. Which is one major reason why my blog has been sorely neglected; I’ve just not had the energy.
It must have something to do with what I’m doing, or not doing, I thought to myself. I’ve been too busy, over doing it, eating the wrong foods, not exercising enough, not getting enough sleep, going to bed too late, getting up too early.
But over the weekend I crammed in as much sleep as I could, and it made not one iota of a difference. I woke up this morning like someone had run me over with a steamroller, aching, sore throat, dizzy, head like it was filled with mince, coughing, and just desperately tired.
Time to call on the services of our local National Health Service medical practice, I thought. Only thing is, whenever I call I can’t usually see a GP for about another 18 days!
“Can you come in for 10 am?” the receptionist enquired, once I’d reeled off my prepared script of ailments. That was 25 minutes away. I was 10 miles away. The car was parked 10 minutes walk away.
I got there at 10:01. I got a check over and sure enough I need another course of antibiotics, which I’m now taking. It wasn’t me after all, it wasn’t something I’d done after all.
Please pray that I feel better soon. I’m desperate to feel well again and get back out on my bike once I’ve suitably recovered. Thanks. xxx