View of the car parked at the Borders General Hospital; Mum has a blue badge so we could park legitimately in the disabled spaces.
On Friday evening I drove down to Selkirk to see Mum; the first time I’d been down for months.
My plan/agenda was:
- spend some time with Mum
- install Mum’s new BT Synergy 4500 phones
- update the antivirus software on Mum’s laptop
- put up a hook on the back of the kitchen door
- hang some pictures
- take a wreath to the cemetery
- move some things out to Mum’s newly constructed shed
Here’s what we did:
- spend some time with Mum
- install Mum’s new BT Synergy 4500 phones
- update the antivirus software on Mum’s laptop
- put up a hook on the back of the kitchen door
- hang some pictures
- take my sister Jenni to Accident & Emergency at the Borders General Hospital, where she was diagnosed with shingles
- take Jenni to the local pharmacy for her newly prescribed medication
- take Jenni and her cat Myla to the vet for an emergency consultation. One quick injection of antibiotics later and we were driving back from St Boswells to Selkirk
- move some things out to Mum’s newly constructed shed
It certainly wasn’t an uneventful visit, but I did get to spend some extra time with Jenni, which was lovely. I do love my Mum and my sister.
Accident and Emergency?
While sitting at A&E it occurred to me that the department might be better called Accident and/or Emergency, because Accident and Emergency implies that both conditions need to be met before a patient will be treated.
Scenario #1
Receptionist: Hello, can I help you?
Patient: Yes please, I’ve had an accident.
Receptionist: An accident, excellent. Tick. Now, can you tell me: is this an emergency?
Patient: An emergency? Well, no … I suppose it could wait until Monday to be seen by my local general practitioner.
Receptionist: I’m afraid that is going to have to be the case, you see this is an accident and emergency department.
Patient: Oh.
Receptionist: Don’t worry, it happens quite a lot. You see, what you are wanting is an Accident and/or Emergency department.
Scenario #2
Receptionist: Hello, can I help you?
Patient: Yes please, it’s an emergency!
Receptionist: An emergency, excellent. Tick. Now, can you tell me: was this the result of an accident?
Patient: An accident? Well, no … I was in a street brawl and my opponent deliberately attacked me with a variety of poorly executed moves he’d learned from a Playstation 2 game.
Receptionist: Ah … you see this is an Accident and Emergency department.
Patient: Oh.
Receptionist: What you want is the local Deliberate and Emergency department.
Patient: I see. Sorry to trouble you, I shall go in search of such a medical department, thank you for your assistance.
Receptionist: You are very welcome. I hope you stop bleeding presently.
You see, the government spend far too much money reorganizing the NHS in ridiculous ways every couple of years, without thinking it through. This method would allow some kind of basic triage to be determined before the patient walks through the doors. You’d have three departments:
- Accident and Emergency
- Accident and/or Emergency
- Deliberate and Emergency
Simple.