The Pedestrian Knock-over Round


I was doing so well too. I’d managed to pack up seven bookcases without reading any of the books — well, okay just the one — when I discovered a box beside my desk marked “Journals”. “Ha ha!” I thought, “this should be fun.”

One thing that I like about my journal writing when I was younger was how precise I was with my approximations. I would never write things like “Got up around 8am” it had to be “Got up around 8:03 am”.

I opened my journal from 1992-1993 randomly at page 77 and read.

Sunday 13th December 1992 (ADVENT 3)

[7:16 pm] I didn’t get up until 1pm today. I missed church and lunch at DRH. I thought that I might write a quick letter to Liz Steele in Kenya – I still haven’t finished it!

I like the use of an exclamation mark at the end of that sentence. What a crazy thing not finishing a letter is. Ooh! what a crazy and rebelleous student I was.

You see, I was reading The Lord of the Rings until about 3 am this morning and when I awoke in the morning at 8 am…

It must really have been 8 am on the dot for me to have written that. My alarm must have gone off or something.

… I could hardly see or function so I consciously decided to stay in bed and go to the 6 pm Evensong in St A’s, St As.

See, that’s what I like: attention to detail. Even my abbreviation of St Andrew’s, St Andrews (the name of the Episcopal Church I attended) had the apostrophe in the right place.

Even at 1 pm I didn’t really want to get up. I was so tired. It’s probably also because I’ve got two essays to do for Friday and I’m trying to avoid them.

I said Morning Prayer at my desk and then wrote to Eddie [my brother] and Liz in Kenya.

Ian T. Rankine came to visit me with a box of Frosties and two pints of milk which we then devoured.

We didn’t just eat them, you’ll notice. No! We devoured them. Inspired by the tiger on the packet no doubt.

It was just a short visit, however, and at 4:54 pm …

At 4:54 pm EXACTLY!

… we headed down to Regs with some new ideas for the Gladiators [TV] programme including Shark-infested Pools, the Trench Warfare Round™, and the Pedestrian Knock-over Round™ where the Gladiators drive cars and the contestants try to avoid getting knocked over!

It’s nice to see that people’s taxes were being put to good use to educate my friend Ian and I.

And so here I am after Evensong at my desk eating a 150g bar of Galaxy and feeling quite upset …

I did wonder why I put on so much weight at university: being upset is so fattening!

Blogging break over. I’d better get on with packing, I suppose.

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Gareth Saunders

I’m Gareth J M Saunders, 52 years old, 6′ 4″, father of 3 boys (including twins). Enneagram type FOUR and introvert (INFP), I am a non-stipendiary priest in the Scottish Episcopal Church, I sing with the NYCGB alumni choir, play guitar, play mahjong, write, draw and laugh… Scrum master at Safeguard Global; latterly at Sky and Vision/Cegedim. Former web architect and agile project manager at the University of St Andrews and previously warden at Agnes Blackadder Hall.

5 thoughts on “The Pedestrian Knock-over Round”

  1. “St Andrew’s, St Andrews” I’m a bit confused since you mention the apostrophe, does that mean that the church belongs to Andrew but there are multiple Andrews who have one town named after them?

  2. Thanks Dorothy, indeed you are right. But I don’t care because that am what most peoples says, and so does me, innit!

    Honestly! I pour out my soul on my blog day in day out (give or take) and all I get is a grammar lesson! No wonder I’m a FOUR! 😉

    The Links section you’ll find are now in the main navigation item entitled … erm, “Links”. That’s the horizontal navigation bar at the top of each page. The right-hand list was getting too long, both in terms of length and time to load.

    And to Ross: “St Andrew’s, St Andrews” means that the church building is dedicated to the memory of St Andrews (that’s the “St Andrew’s” bit at the start) and it is situated in the Royal and Ancient Burgh of St Andrews (hence the “St Andrews” with no apostrophe).

  3. I don’t think, in the eleven times I’ve moved in the last 17 years, I’ve yet managed to get through the process without being side-tracked by a book or twenty, let alone on the numerous occasions I’ve moved the contents of my living space around (something I seem to need to do every few months or so, regardless of whsther I’m about to move house or not,).

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