Armour of God pyjamas

Screenshot of Armor of God website

What in the name of all that is good and wholesome is going on with this website: Armor of God (sic)?! Not only does the site look as though it’s on fire, it’s just … well, awful! I spotted this on Web Pages That Suck today, while doing some … erm, online research at lunchtime.

I’m all for people learning passages of Scripture. I’m all for young people learning passages of Scripture. But I’m not sure about dressing your kids up like a Bible-themed fancy dress party and sending them to bed in what looks like a pair of bry nylon pyjamas.

* CRACKLE, CRACKLE … BANG! *
“Arrrggghhhh!!”
“What’s that dear? Have you had a religious experience?
“No! I’ve just got a nasty static electric shock from my pyjamas!”

The full set comes complete with the following, for $49.99 (about £26.50):

  • Pajama top with breastplate of righteousness and belt of truth hem.
  • Pajama pants with wings of peace to cover feet.
  • Helmet of salvation.
  • Shield of faith pillow.
  • Sword of the Spirit (New Testament).
  • Activity coloring book.

ACTIVITY COLORING BOOK?! (I’m going to ignore the American spelling) Why would anyone need an activity colouring book with their pyjamas?! They are meant to be SLEEPING!

And don’t even get me started about the “belt of truth hem

Published by

Gareth Saunders

I’m Gareth J M Saunders, 46 years old, 6′ 4″, father of 3 boys (including twins). Latterly, web architect and agile project manager at the University of St Andrews and warden at Agnes Blackadder Hall. Currently on sabbatical. I am a priest in the Scottish Episcopal Church, and I sing with the NYCGB alumni choir.

5 thoughts on “Armour of God pyjamas”

  1. The belt, I’m sure, is of the chastity type. To, I’m also sure, discourage night-time manipulation, which might poison their pure little minds. Ahem.

    I forget where I saw this before – B3ta possibly? Seem their sort of stuff.

    …I do hope you’re well. I wish I was.

    Take care, friend.

    William.

  2. And they’re sadly missing apostrophes everywhere.

    Not entirely surprised ordering is restricted to north america, somehow.

    And my question is, why an `activity colouring book’ when the overriding theme of Ephesians 6:10-18 is “stand firm”, to which all the other equipment is merely paraphernalia?

    …So what other passage would you choose and why? 😉

  3. What gets me is that there is a variation on the theme for girls. The wording on the advert is the same, the actual pajamas are the same, but the girls’ version clearly features a Tiara of Salvation rather than the traditional helmet. A tiara wouldn’t be much use in a battle…

  4. Why is it emblazoned in the cross of St. George?

    Slay dragons as well as those carnal urges?

    Cannot wait for the Anna & Samuel dolls, and Armor of God BLANKETS! (I suppose if you are on a crusade you will need them to keep warm while beseiging some enemy fortress.

  5. (Laugh out Loud!)

    I was thinking about this on my way to work this morning — because evidently the beautiful Fife countryside between Anstruther and St Andrews isn’t interesting enough! — and I got to thinking how damaging this could potentially be.

    When we were little Mum and Dad encouraged us to remember to imagine putting on the Armour of God as we were dressing in the morning, as a way of remembering God in all that we do, and to ask for God’s protection and guidance throughout the day. And you know what? That worked for me.

    But to physically put on clothes that claim to be the Armour of God?! I know that the manufacturers don’t actually claim that these PJs are the Armour (of even Pyjamas) of God, but surely there are going to be some kids who won’t feel safe unless they are wearing their “magic pyjamas”!

    What Would Jesus Wear?

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