No television for us tonight

Gareth with a remote control, pointing to a TV with no picture.
Gareth looking glum watching nothing on television.

Jane has just popped next door to watch the final of The Apprentice on BBC2. For some reason, known only to the broadcasting gremlins our television isn’t working now.

Or at least, the television set itself is still working, it’s just we can’t get a good enough signal for our Phillips digibox.

Or at least, we can get a good enough signal for the digibox, it’s just that it gives us a good enough signal for a bunch of Danish television stations. I kid you not.

Or German.

Just not British. Which, call us zenophobic if you like, is actually what we prefer. It’s partly to do with our familiarity with the British television stations, it’s partly to do with our better grasp of the English language, and it’s partly to do with our living in Scotland and buying a digibox that promised to allow us to watch all those extra, yummy programmes spewed out by the BBC and the ever-growing magazine of Channel 4-related channels: Channel 4, E4, E4+1, More4, More4+1.

I’ve tried lots of fun, technical things, like trying different aerials, and different cables, and connecting up a couple of different signal boosters. I even got really technical and started wiggling the cable like a mad thing. None of it worked. Even without the digibox, watching the good old fashioned telly tuned into the standard five terrestrial channels we only get pictures for two: BBC1 and Five.

It’s another telephone call to our friendly neighbourhood letting agents in the morning, then.