Heat Vision and Jack

Actor Jack Black sitting on a motorcycle, a female sherriff is in the background.

You’ve got to love YouTube. Every now and again it throws up a true gem of televisual broadcasting of the highest order.

Seemingly Heat Vision and Jack was created as a 1999 pilot for Fox. Written by Dan Harmon and Rob Schrab, directed by Ben Stiller, this series was passed over by Fox despite critical acclaim from those who’ve been lucky enough to see it.

This half hour pilot episode is about an astronaut (played by Jack Black) with a medical secret on the run from the evil Ron Silver and the rest of NASA, with the help of a talking motorcycle — who used to be his room mate! — called Heat Vision.

The episode is introduced thus by Mr Ben Stiller:

Ah! Hello America. I’m Ben Stiller. In 1992 I had a show here on Fox. They ridiculed me for my effort — I was cancelled. Then I won this: it’s called an Emmy.

Let’s change cameras.

Now, having returned to television a wealthy and powerful man, I’ve directed an incredible new action series called Heat Vision and Jack. In it we follow the adventures of a super-intelligent renegade astronaut and his talking motorcycle.

Some of you will marvel at our state-of-the-art special computerized effects. Which quite frankly rival those of a certain new Star Wars movie. Some of you will be frightened … or aroused. Still others may be entertained.

As a person you admire, I’m giving you permission to appreciate this show. I’m also offering you my personal guarantee that it’s going to knock you back onto your coal-mining asses, and that’s a promise you won’t be hearing from Georgy Lucas. “Hey there Mr Beard, how many Emmys do you have?”

Once again America, I give you what you want.

It’s quite clearly a series that it screaming out to be made.

Published by

Gareth Saunders

I’m Gareth J M Saunders, 46 years old, 6′ 4″, father of 3 boys (including twins). Latterly, web architect and agile project manager at the University of St Andrews and warden at Agnes Blackadder Hall. Currently on sabbatical. I am a priest in the Scottish Episcopal Church, and I sing with the NYCGB alumni choir.

One thought on “Heat Vision and Jack”

  1. this is great indeed.
    for a similar series (even funnier) that did get made, check out “Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace”
    Same fake 80’s show, this one taking the piss out of both hospital dramas and horror.
    features such great lines like “as i rounded the corner i felt muscular and compact, like corned beef”
    also features “interviews” with the actors and directors discussing what went wrong and why the show is as awful as it is.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.