What we didn’t see this evening!
Hey, churchy people of the internet! Have you ever wondered what unchurchy people do on a Sunday evening who don’t have to sit in a cold building on a hard pew and listen to 1929-style Choral Evensong? Jane and I did some research this evening and found out. Obviously this report is based on only two people’s experience on one Sunday evening, and while you couldn’t exactly class it as scientific I don’t think it’s any less significant. Here’s what people do on a Sunday evening when they don’t have church to go to:
We decided that we wanted to do something special but also a little ‘escapist’ for the evening, and given that we’ve loaned our Harry Houdini Set to some friends that obviously was out.
“What about the cinema?” I suggested.
Jane looked up our local cinemas on the World Wide Web. But we couldn’t find them: our cinemas are nearer than that. So she looked them up on the Local Wide Web and sure enough there they were.
The only thing that grabbed my attention was the Steve Cougan and Rob Brydon film A Cock and Bull Story, which was on at the Vue cinema at the Omni Centre. My cousin Alan recommeneded it when I saw him yesterday.
So we jumped in the car and drove down to the top of Leith Walk, which co-incidentally is where the Omni Centre is located. We stood in the queue, soon reaching the front.
“Next please!” shouted the sales assistant behind the perspex.
“One and a student for A Cock And Bull Story,” I asked, somehow managing to pronounce the title of the film in italics.
“There are no student discounts on that film,” the assistant said, “it’s only on in the Gold Class screen, I’m afraid,” he said.
“Don’t be afraid,” I reassured him.
“What?” he asked, a little confused.
“I said, ‘Don’t be afraid.'”
He just looked at me.
“Right, well, that’s fine then,” I said. “Gold Class it is.”
“The tickets are £8.95 each,” he said.
“WHAT?!” said I.
What?! indeed. Jane agreed with my ‘WHAT?!’ and we walked back to the car. “Our lunch didn’t cost that much,” she said. So we just drove home. The long way. Via Leith.
But don’t feel sorry for us, because now we know that there must be thousands, if not hundreds, of people who face that level of disappointment each and every Sunday evening.