Listen anywhere … even in the sewer

Screenshot of the Nvidia NVMixer application
Screenshot of the Nvidia NVMixer application

Well… okay, so the half-reinstalling the NVidia chipset drivers didn’t exactly fix the problem. My system clock has kept good time for the rest of the day, but I couldn’t get Skype to recognise the NVidia soundcard that it was plugged into. So I had to uninstall the drivers and reinstall them. There’s always something, isn’t there! Anyway, it worked fine. My two soundcards are working perfectly now: Creative SB X-Fi for music playback and NVidia nForce for Skype.

The only thing I’m puzzling over now is the built-in Environments in the NVmixer application (above). Don’t get me wrong, I admire the technological skills of the programmers at NVidia who are able to offer 28 different simulated reverb effects, but why? WHY?! Why would anybody ever need to listen to a piece of music as though he was listening to it in a padded cell (option 18)? Or in a forest (option 12)?! Or a Sewer Pipe (option 24)?!!

Dave: Hey, Gareth! I’ve got the new Opeth album, let’s crawl into a local sewer pipe with a ghetto-blaster and rock out…

Gareth: (with a knowing glint in his eye) No need! I have a simulated Sewer Pipe environment effect on my NVmixer control panel.

Dave: (with awe) Co-o-o-o-o-o-o-l! I don’t suppose you have the ability to pretend that we’re listening to it in a Stone Room, too, do you?

Gareth: I do. It’s option 23. And Underwater (option 24)

Dave: Underwater?! What possible use is that?! How stupid…

Oddly, it doesn’t have a church or cathedral reverb setting. However, I’ve also just discovered that I can additionally pretend that the room is made from metal, plastic or cloth. Where shall I pretend to listen to the latest Metallica album? How about in a tupperware box in a Parking Lot (option 19).

Madness! Utter madness! Next they’ll be telling us that Santa is too scary for children!

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Gareth Saunders

I’m Gareth J M Saunders, 47 years old, 6′ 4″, father of 3 boys (including twins). Scrum master at Vision Ltd, Dundee. Latterly, web architect and agile project manager at the University of St Andrews and former warden at Agnes Blackadder Hall. Enneagram type FOUR and introvert, I am a non-stipendiary priest in the Scottish Episcopal Church, I sing with the NYCGB alumni choir, play guitar, write, draw and laugh… a lot.

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