Who eats whom?

Christmas baubles

My brother Eddie pointed this out to me on the telephone this evening. “Have you seen the latest Selkirk Weekend Advertiser?” he asked me. Mum sends us a copy of the local paper every week to keep us up to date with the goings on in Selkirk (a small, but not insignificant, town in the central Scottish Borders, on the A7 between Edinburgh and Carlisle). “It’s the tips on what to do with your pets at Christmas,” he went on. “It’s above some adverts for vets in the middle of the paper.”

Sure enough, there it was on page 8, an article entitled “The twelve dangers of Christmas for your pets”. Which should be subtitled “How to fill four columns of copy in twelve easy bullet-points”. I won’t share with you all twelve points, but the first made us both laugh. It reads:

Christmas decorations — such as baubles and tinsel are new and exciting objects for pets, be aware that they may try to eat them.

Now, does that mean that the pets may try to eat the baubles and tinsel, or that the Christmas decorations may try to eat your pets?

Do visit the Selkirk Today website, however. Not only is it an example of the Internet Yesterday, you will be able to vote on this week’s poll question:

Will you do the bulk of your Christmas shopping in the Borders?

For which there are three possible answers:

  • Yes
  • No
  • I’m a Scrooge

I so want to redesign their website for them now.

Published by

Gareth Saunders

I’m Gareth J M Saunders, 52 years old, 6′ 4″, father of 3 boys (including twins). Enneagram type FOUR and introvert (INFP), I am a non-stipendiary priest in the Scottish Episcopal Church, I sing with the NYCGB alumni choir, play guitar, play mahjong, write, draw and laugh… Former Scrum master at Safeguard Global, Sky and Vision/Cegedim. Former web architect and agile project manager at the University of St Andrews and previously warden at Agnes Blackadder Hall.

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