I need to slow down

ECG heart monitor machine

The last couple of days I’ve been really quite concerned about my health. I’ve felt more tired than usual; I’ve been vomitting off and on since last Sunday; I’ve been to the bathroom more times than I’d like to admit; and the last couple of days I’ve been having chest pains. I think my body has been telling me something: slow down!

Yesterday I cancelled a meeting — actually, the meeting went ahead, I sent my apologies and didn’t attend. Instead I stayed in bed and slept until midday. I did the same again today. And I’m still tired.

I’m not good at slowing down. I can alway see something else that needs doing — or that I would like to do. I’m not good at switching off from work; I feel guilty when I’m not working. It’s almost as though I think, well God works 24-7, so I should too. There is an expectation that clergy are available, on-call, 24-7 too, which is exhausting in itself, even if no-one does call.

And yet this is something that I really need to work at. I can’t remember the last time I had a proper day off, that I didn’t work. (Clergy are only entitled to one day off per week, by the way. God rested for only one day, so we should follow suit — but not on God’s day off: Sunday!)

So I need to slow down, go to bed earlier, eat properly and once I’ve recovered enough start exercising regularly. Blimey! It’s tiring just thinking about that … I think I may go for another lie down.

Published by

Gareth Saunders

I’m Gareth J M Saunders, 49 years old, 6′ 4″, father of 3 boys (including twins). Enneagram type FOUR and introvert (INFP), I am a non-stipendiary priest in the Scottish Episcopal Church, I sing with the NYCGB alumni choir, play guitar, play mahjong, write, draw and laugh… Scrum master. Latterly, web architect and agile project manager at the University of St Andrews and former warden at Agnes Blackadder Hall.

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