I need to slow down

ECG heart monitor machine

The last couple of days I’ve been really quite concerned about my health. I’ve felt more tired than usual; I’ve been vomitting off and on since last Sunday; I’ve been to the bathroom more times than I’d like to admit; and the last couple of days I’ve been having chest pains. I think my body has been telling me something: slow down!

Yesterday I cancelled a meeting — actually, the meeting went ahead, I sent my apologies and didn’t attend. Instead I stayed in bed and slept until midday. I did the same again today. And I’m still tired.

I’m not good at slowing down. I can alway see something else that needs doing — or that I would like to do. I’m not good at switching off from work; I feel guilty when I’m not working. It’s almost as though I think, well God works 24-7, so I should too. There is an expectation that clergy are available, on-call, 24-7 too, which is exhausting in itself, even if no-one does call.

And yet this is something that I really need to work at. I can’t remember the last time I had a proper day off, that I didn’t work. (Clergy are only entitled to one day off per week, by the way. God rested for only one day, so we should follow suit — but not on God’s day off: Sunday!)

So I need to slow down, go to bed earlier, eat properly and once I’ve recovered enough start exercising regularly. Blimey! It’s tiring just thinking about that … I think I may go for another lie down.

Published by

Gareth Saunders

I’m Gareth J M Saunders, 52 years old, 6′ 4″, father of 3 boys (including twins). Enneagram type FOUR and introvert (INFP), I am a non-stipendiary priest in the Scottish Episcopal Church, I sing with the NYCGB alumni choir, play guitar, play mahjong, write, draw and laugh… Scrum master at Safeguard Global; latterly at Sky and Vision/Cegedim. Former web architect and agile project manager at the University of St Andrews and previously warden at Agnes Blackadder Hall.

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