My ‘missing’ phone wasn’t even ordered!

When I returned from a meeting this afternoon and discovered that my new mobile phone still hadn’t been delivered, despite being told by the O2 customer service advisor that it would be in my hands on Friday, I rang O2 customer services again (dial 202 from an O2 handset).

I explained why I was telephoning and the advisor asked if I could hold for two minutes while she spoke with someone from the upgrade department. “Sure,” said I. And was immediately put on hold.


“Hello, Reverend Saunders?” said ‘Kelly’, in a Welsh accent. I’m sure she wasn’t putting it on, maybe I should have written “in her Welsh accent”. I’m not even sure now why I even mentioned she had a Welsh accent, except that it sounded nice and soothing. I like the Welsh accent; I like Welsh names, too! There is something gentle about the Welsh accent that puts me at ease. I’m sure if my renal consultant was Welsh I wouldn’t feel quite so bad about having an inherited kidney disease. “Hello Gareth — nice name, by the way!” she would say. “I’m sorry to tell you that you have a kidney disease. Who knows, you may live into your eighties, or it may take your life when you are but fifty years old, like your father, and his father before him.”
“Okay, thanks for telling me,” I would say.
“You’re not worried about that?”
“Well, obviously, it’s a concern. But you said it in such a gentle and reassuring way that it doesn’t sound all that bad.”

That’s how I imagine it would go. Instead, I get someone from an eastern block country that shouts at me. Anyway, my phone…

My new phone … wait for it (cos I have been!) … hadn’t been ordered. That’s right. The first O2 customer services advisor (CSA) told me that my phone would be with me by Friday, and then as soon as she hung up promptly failed to order my handset. Incredible!

Today’s CSA told me that a new one had been ordered (fa’ shizzle) and would be scheduled for “fast delivery”, so I should get it within 48 hours. There is usually a charge of £14.95, though I’m not sure whether she meant for delivery or for the handset, but said that as a goodwill gesture they would waive that fee.

So, I may have a new Nokia 5140i anytime between now and Wednesday.

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Gareth Saunders

I’m Gareth J M Saunders, 52 years old, 6′ 4″, father of 3 boys (including twins). Enneagram type FOUR and introvert (INFP), I am a non-stipendiary priest in the Scottish Episcopal Church, I sing with the NYCGB alumni choir, play guitar, play mahjong, write, draw and laugh… Scrum master at Safeguard Global; latterly at Sky and Vision/Cegedim. Former web architect and agile project manager at the University of St Andrews and previously warden at Agnes Blackadder Hall.

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