“Is there anything else I can help you with today?” the O2 customer service adviser asked me at the end of our telephone conversation.
“Would you be able to arrange a funeral service for my Nokia 6100?” I asked.
There was a slight pause at the other end before the customer adviser chuckled and respectfully suggested that I might be able to simply bury the old phone in the garden.
“So,” she said bringing our conversation to an end, “you should receive your new Nokia 5140i in the post on Friday.”
“Thank you so much for your help,” I said and hung up.
Not everyone I’d spoken to about my deceased mobile phone had been quite so helpful this morning. Thirty minutes earlier I had been standing in the o2 shop at the Gyle Shopping Centre being verbally bombarded by a young trainee’s apathy. Speaking too fast, with a Glaswegian accent, and mumbling he informed me that a) my phone wasn’t working (yeah! thanks for that Einstein!), that b) it would need repaired (REALLY?!!), and that c) he didn’t have a clue how much it would cost.
“What about an upgrade?”
“But I’m sure I took out insurance when I got the phone. Gold insurance,” I said reaching into my bag to extract the relevant paperwork.
“Well, you’ll have to speak to Customer Services about that, there’s nothing we can do about that here.
I took the ironically titled O2 care card and wandered out of the shop feeling rather dejected, still with a broken phone, and now muttering to myself about how useful that assistant hadn’t been.
The O2 Customer Service (0870 241 0202 or 202) could not have been more helpful. Within five minutes they’d determined that as I hadn’t upgraded my phone in the two years I’ve had the Pay Monthly contract I was elegible for an upgrade. The nearest upgrade for the Nokia 6100 was a Nokia 6020.
Being the shallow geek that I am, I like to know what my phone is going to look like. I began to worry that I might be landed with a funky-looking phone that would be better suited in a modern art gallery or on an episide of Dr Who than in my pocket.
“I tell you what I really need,” I said. “I really need a phone that has triband, and has infrared, so that I can use it as a modem with my PDA.”
“Okay, give me a moment … what about the Nokia 5140i?” she said. “That has both features that you want. It’s a black phone. It also has a colour screen, a camera, and an FM radio.”
As it happens the 5140i was one of the phones that I looked at online last night. So I took the plunge and said “Yeah, that would be great, thanks.”
Here it is (above). It should be with me on Friday. And to be honest, as sad as I am to lose my faithful 6100, I’m actually quite excited about my new handset. The only thing is, I hope it has good voice quality, because despite all the gadgetry that it sports, the thing that I really need it for is as a telephone.