Bother

I’ve been feeling particularly low today. Little self-belief, or self-confidence. Worrying about the future. Struggling.

I was listening to my MP3 collection (one of the few things that survived The Crash(TM)) on random when Stone Sour’s song Bother came on. I found it somewhat (somehow?) encouraging. In there was something of the tension that I was feeling: a battle between wanting just to give up and finding that extra energy to fight on.

Bother
by Stone Sour

Wish I was too dead to cry
My self-affliction fades
Stones to throw at my creator
Masochists to which I cater
You don’t need to bother;
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won’t let go ’til it bleeds

Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
I wish I had a reason;
my flaws are open season
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying

You don’t need to bother;
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won’t let go ’til it bleeds

Wish I’d died instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten
with its memories
Diaries left
with cryptic entries

And you don’t need to bother;
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won’t let go ’til it bleeds

You don’t need to bother;
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on:
I’ll never live down my deceit

I still feel low. Perhaps an early night will help. And then tomorrow I can take my broken phone to the O2 shop and see if I can get another Nokia 6100. (Jane’s old one, I’ve just discovered, has a damaged earpiece!)

3 thoughts on “Bother”

  1. Wow! That song was tooooo depressing! Wipe it, expunge it! So enervating…. I was reading about Rodger Daltry (please don’t say “Who?”) He had said he used to think rock and roll could change the world (he used to seem an “angry young man”). Now he realises he was wrong. Believe me, I think that is some admission from this guy. Much respect. If ever I need cheering up I play some Status Quo. Don’t care what other people think – the guys do it every time!

  2. You should listen to a song by Bob Nudd called ‘Maggots in YA Catapult’. He’s a world champion fisherman and decided to release a rap song – which is great because he is over 50 and white… like Eminem’s grandfather… That would cheer you up.

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