Words of wisdom


This morning I received a gift in the post. It was from a Joinee friend of mine, Claire. She wrote in the accompanying note:

Hello you. Here is the present I saw in Padstow (hold it to your ear and you can hear the sea) and thought of you – obviously!

So I opened the envelope further and pulled out a green bookmark, turned it over, and there in all its wonderous glory was an orange … thing (I think it’s supposed to be a cat), holding out at full-stretch a door handle. Beneath it the following:

Unless provoked, never get your knob out in church.

And beneath that “Words of Wizzdum by Clive Gardner“. Wise words indeed. I guess. Thank you Claire.

What I really liked was the warning on the reverse of the bookmark:

This bookmark will not provide protection against fire, flood, nuclear attack or very large mad people with pointy sticks.

In a culture where too many people are needlessly sued I think it’s both a refreshing and a sensible course of action to print such a caveat in bold letters on this product.

Why do people keep sending me things like this? My good friend Danny Curtis often sends me stuff like this.

Published by

Gareth Saunders

I’m Gareth J M Saunders, 52 years old, 6′ 4″, father of 3 boys (including twins). Enneagram type FOUR and introvert (INFP), I am a non-stipendiary priest in the Scottish Episcopal Church, I sing with the NYCGB alumni choir, play guitar, play mahjong, write, draw and laugh… Scrum master at Safeguard Global; latterly at Sky and Vision/Cegedim. Former web architect and agile project manager at the University of St Andrews and previously warden at Agnes Blackadder Hall.

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