Words of wisdom


This morning I received a gift in the post. It was from a Joinee friend of mine, Claire. She wrote in the accompanying note:

Hello you. Here is the present I saw in Padstow (hold it to your ear and you can hear the sea) and thought of you – obviously!

So I opened the envelope further and pulled out a green bookmark, turned it over, and there in all its wonderous glory was an orange … thing (I think it’s supposed to be a cat), holding out at full-stretch a door handle. Beneath it the following:

Unless provoked, never get your knob out in church.

And beneath that “Words of Wizzdum by Clive Gardner“. Wise words indeed. I guess. Thank you Claire.

What I really liked was the warning on the reverse of the bookmark:

This bookmark will not provide protection against fire, flood, nuclear attack or very large mad people with pointy sticks.

In a culture where too many people are needlessly sued I think it’s both a refreshing and a sensible course of action to print such a caveat in bold letters on this product.

Why do people keep sending me things like this? My good friend Danny Curtis often sends me stuff like this.