More memory for Mum

I’ve been looking for memory for my Mum’s PC.

My Mum has a PC. A generic PC. Nothing fancy. I bought it from Central Computer Supplies in Birmingham through an advert in Micro Mart. Not literally through the advert, like some kind of mysterious communications portal in the middle of a computer magazine. That would be ludicrous! I telephoned them; of course I did!

I made some notes of her PC spec before I gave her it:

Mum’s PC
AMD Duron 1.1 GHz
SiS 730 motherboard
128 MB RAM
19.1 GB HDD
56k Fax Modem
54x CD-ROM

It’s running dreadfully slowly and is in dire need of a reformat and reinstallation of Windows, and I also thought a memory boost wouldn’t go amiss either. It has Windows 98 Second Edition installed which — as you will all know — gradually develops a kind of OS arthritis … it slows seizes up.

I read in a review that the SiS 730 chipset only supports PC133 SDRAM. But how many pins? 144? 168?

I thought I’d just tell Mum what it needs and let her go into PC World:

Assistant: Hello madam, can I help?

Mum: Can I have half a pound of some Crucial Ballistix DDR 400 RAM with 12 gigaflops of graphic conflagrations and a megawhop of anti-telharsic memory routers.

Assistant: … erm. That doesn’t sound like anything that we …

Mum: I guess it will be 168-pin.

Assistant: … ah, right! 168-pin memory, we have that.

Mum: Will it be easy to hoover?

Assistant: …sorry?!

Mum: Also, could you just confirm for me that it’ll be compatible with my water cooling system? It’s to go in my new gaming rig and I don’t want any problems with the ATX factor or my spandau ballet©.

Assistant: … erm? I think I’ll get the manager.

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Gareth Saunders

I’m Gareth J M Saunders, 49 years old, 6′ 4″, father of 3 boys (including twins). Enneagram type FOUR and introvert (INFP), I am a non-stipendiary priest in the Scottish Episcopal Church, I sing with the NYCGB alumni choir, play guitar, play mahjong, write, draw and laugh… Scrum master. Latterly, web architect and agile project manager at the University of St Andrews and former warden at Agnes Blackadder Hall.

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