My friend James Frost showed me this new palmtop computer today. It’s called an OQO (pronounced aw-koe?) and claims to be the world’s smallest, fully-functioning, self-contained PC ever built. Ever. In the world.

Here’s part of what it does:

a full-featured Windows XP computer

The OQO model 01 ultra personal computer (uPC) is a fully-functional Windows XP computer. The OQO has a 1GHz processor, a 20GB hard drive, 256MB of RAM, a color transflective display, and integrated wireless, as well as Fire Wire and USB ports. It is powerful enough to run your most complex applications.

What’s an “ultra personal computer”? I imagine that when it starts up instead of playing that annoying Windows ‘ding-ding-derring’ jingle it just has a good look at you and says nice things like, “Ooh, you’re looking smart this morning!” Or at other times it might say, “Excuse me, I don’t wish to speak out of term here, but a quick shot of deodorant and a brush of the teeth might not go amiss.” That would be ultra personal.

Mobile PC magazine claims that “the OQO hints at a future where technology literally goes anywhere you do.”

I’m not sure I want that. Can you imagine the kerfuffle as you walk down the High Street and you have your PC, and TV and DVD players dancing down the pavement following you?

Oh, and did I mention that you need to have fingers the size of Action Man’s, and eyesight good enough to be able to read a novel from 100 metres … at dusk?

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Gareth Saunders

I’m Gareth J M Saunders, 52 years old, 6′ 4″, father of 3 boys (including twins). Enneagram type FOUR and introvert (INFP), I am a non-stipendiary priest in the Scottish Episcopal Church, I sing with the NYCGB alumni choir, play guitar, play mahjong, write, draw and laugh… Scrum master at Safeguard Global; latterly at Sky and Vision/Cegedim. Former web architect and agile project manager at the University of St Andrews and previously warden at Agnes Blackadder Hall.

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