Little Empire, part 4

Okay, I lied, one more episode, this one written by James:


The Ewok jumps up and grabs a four-foot-long spear, which he holds in a defensive position. Leia watches him as he circles warily and begins poking her with the sharp point of the spear.

LEIA: Cut it out!

[She stands up, and the Ewok quickly backs away.]

EWOK: Eh eh eh!!

LEIA: I’m not gonna hurt you.

EWOK: Eh eh?

[Leia looks around at the dense forest, and at the charred remains of her speeder bike, then sits down, with a sigh, on a fallen log.]

LEIA: Well, maybe you can help me. Come on, sit down.

[Leia removes her helmet and the Ewok runs about madly.]

EWOK: Eh eh eh!!

LEIA: Look, it’s a hat. It’s not gonna hurt you. Look. You’re a jittery little thing, aren’t you?

[The Ewok takes Leia’s hat and tries to stick it up his bum.]


[The Ewok urinates in Leia’s helmet, smears mud down her face and calmly walks off.]

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Gareth Saunders

I’m Gareth J M Saunders, 49 years old, 6′ 4″, father of 3 boys (including twins). Enneagram type FOUR and introvert (INFP), I am a non-stipendiary priest in the Scottish Episcopal Church, I sing with the NYCGB alumni choir, play guitar, play mahjong, write, draw and laugh… Scrum master. Latterly, web architect and agile project manager at the University of St Andrews and former warden at Agnes Blackadder Hall.