Little Empire, part 4

Okay, I lied, one more episode, this one written by James:

EXT FOREST – LEIA’S CRASH SITE

The Ewok jumps up and grabs a four-foot-long spear, which he holds in a defensive position. Leia watches him as he circles warily and begins poking her with the sharp point of the spear.

LEIA: Cut it out!

[She stands up, and the Ewok quickly backs away.]

EWOK: Eh eh eh!!

LEIA: I’m not gonna hurt you.

EWOK: Eh eh?

[Leia looks around at the dense forest, and at the charred remains of her speeder bike, then sits down, with a sigh, on a fallen log.]

LEIA: Well, maybe you can help me. Come on, sit down.

[Leia removes her helmet and the Ewok runs about madly.]

EWOK: Eh eh eh!!

LEIA: Look, it’s a hat. It’s not gonna hurt you. Look. You’re a jittery little thing, aren’t you?

[The Ewok takes Leia’s hat and tries to stick it up his bum.]

EWOK: EH EH EH!!!

[The Ewok urinates in Leia’s helmet, smears mud down her face and calmly walks off.]

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Gareth Saunders

I’m Gareth J M Saunders, 46 years old, 6′ 4″, father of 3 boys (including twins). Latterly, web architect and agile project manager at the University of St Andrews and warden at Agnes Blackadder Hall. Currently on sabbatical. I am a priest in the Scottish Episcopal Church, and I sing with the NYCGB alumni choir.