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C O M P U T E R   Q U O T E S

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Source:
http://www.it-umschueler.de/luebeck/public/humor/quotes.htm 

Here's a very small portion of the long list of geek- related bits 
of humor and quotes that have been compiled on one long page. 
I picked out a bunch of my favorite classics for inclusion here. 

Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. 

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. 

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. 

Close your eyes and press escape three times. 

Best file compression around: "rm *.*" = 100% compression 

The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in. 

Does Artificial Intelligence imply Natural Stupidity? 

Intel: We put the "um..." in Pentium. 

If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics! 

Hey! It compiles! Ship it! 

Black holes are where God divided by zero. 

Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster. 

Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk? 

My company motto: "If this stuff worked, you wouldn't need me."

Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!" 

A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord. 

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... 

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? 
  
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. 

Bugs come in through open Windows. 

Windows 95(n) - 32-bit extensions and graphical shell for a
16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 
4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't 
stand 1 bit of competition. 

"A good programmer is someone who looks both ways 
before crossing a one-way street." 
  -- Doug Linder 
  
A computer scientist is someone who, when told to "Go to Hell," 
sees the "go to," rather than the destination, as harmful. 

A bad random number generator:  1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 4.33e+67, 1, 1, 1